Monday, July 8, 2013

Double ouch.

Double ouch when you said that she played an important role in your life.
You can lose anything but not her.
Oh well, even if it hurts, what can I do?
Every time you do something, even if you don't meant to hurt me, I never fail to question myself.
She played an important role? Seriously?
Somebody who bullied you n your sister. Somebody who controlled each n every actions of yours.
Somebody who cared herself more than you. Somebody who made use of you.
So all along, I was just being one sided, being over-willingly to be a hero, to rescue you from her. (?)
Basically, I'm just a smart aleck, huh?
When you need help in studies, I revised w you.
When you're in pain, I was there, letting you to grab my hand.
When you need somebody to ball w, I was there.
When you've family problems, I stood by you, I was the first one that you informed.
Can I be thick skinned for once? I spent most of my secondary life w you.
I'm sad, cuz I no longer know this person.
Somebody that used to be so dearest to me, that I could, maybe, even die for. I'm not kidding.
I hate changing people around me. I love to spend my whole life w the same person.
I'm fine. I don't mind give and take. Moreover, I always give in.
I feel like I'm always in between the lines.
I wonder if I'm fitting in to maintain the relationship, or fit in and break each other apart.
Am I doing the wrong thing? Why do I always get all these shits? Is it really... me?
Did I got the wrong signals? For all the years I'm w you.
Really upset. It's like I was told that a toy bear doesn't have feelings, but one day, it has feelings. it can talk.